La Palma, A Treatise on the Particular Examen of Conscience

La Palma, A Treatise on the Particular Examen of Conscience, 1873, pp. 92–96

§ V. Instances of Melancholy and of Sloth.—A quenched brand leaves a black coal behind; thus does anger, when lulled, leave the heart in sadness. Sadness, or melancholy, in its turn, begets sloth, or an aversion from spiritual and mental recollection. Now, a dissipated mind, finding no rest within itself, seeks it without. The remedy for this vice is as follows—(1) The conscience must be thoroughly searched, to discover whether it be in peace and security. Is it burdened with a grievous sin, or perplexed with the doubt thereof? Does the person feel any difficulty in laying bare his fault to his confessor, or in ridding himself of it? Is he troubled with fears and suspicions, which, while he keeps to himself, close his soul to the light from on high, a ray whereof would comfort him? Meanwhile, as he obstinately remains in darkness, his heart is overwhelmed with sorrow. For as a sprained joint gives unbearable pain, which cannot be assuaged by plasters, ointments, or any other external applications, so, from the sources detailed above, a more or less deep melancholy will spring, and such as will not yield to aught that is applied from without. Firstly, then, the Examen must be directed against concealing from the confessor aught that may concern the conscience. (2) Examine how deep a hold this melancholy has obtained on the heart. Has it caused an abscess—brought on a distaste for one's state, especially in the case of a Religious? Has it robbed us of our attachment to our Order, Superiors, and Rule? Do we obey readily, or with an effort? If this be our plight, we are dangerously seized, and still more so as we shrink from the remedy. For he that is thus affected abhors nothing so much as what would bring comfort to his soul. He solaces himself with what shuts out relief, such as murmuring and far-fetched reasons, which confirm him in his diseased fancies. Such a one must make his Particular Examen on the following points— (1) To converse familiarly and affably with his inferiors; not to withdraw from the common recreation, nor to be gloomy in conversation. (2) To shut out from himself worldly business and diversions, and to keep at arm's length whatever may cause his heart to pour itself out to excess through the senses. Wherefore he will not go out of doors on purposeless errands, for unnecessary visits, even though they wear a semblance of piety. (3) He will keep from public amusements and gatherings, and, as far as possible, remain in his room. For one attacked with this disease has no taste for solitary occupations. Like as he who has lost all relish for wholesome food excites his appetite with condiments, which may tickle his palate, so should such a one beguile, by varying them, the monotony of solitary occupations, at one time reading, at another writing, or doing something else.
(4) He shall flee, as he would the pestilence, friendly intercourse with seculars, nor allow himself to be entangled by busying himself with their affairs, their interests or concerns; since these can but deprive him of time and relish for the occupations of his state; for to relieve the monotony of these latter, as well as to hoodwink ourselves as to our indolent neglect of the duties of our state, we turn to what is foreign to our profession. (5) He shall not be a collector of news, nor lead the conversation to the favours of fortune, the honours and delights of the world, for his languishing heart will be soon attracted by what he says or hears. (6) He shall divert his mind from such fancies, suppress all idle talk on such matters as deeds of daring, extraordinary good fortune, eminent posts and dignities, &c., for such befit rather those that are asleep than waking men. But especially shall he apply himself to his Spiritual Exercises, insisting not only on their exact fulfilment, but prolonging the time thereof, according to annotation thirteen among the twenty-one. In compliance with annotation six, he will most scrupulously observe the Additions, and earnestly strive to acquire devotion, which divine goodness will not fail to vouchsafe.
To sum up what has been said hitherto, he must be persuaded that the state of his soul is perilous and wretched, that without effort he will never rise therefrom, and that nothing aggravates this ailment so much as to indulge one's likings. The effort he has to make comprises these two things—(1) He must diminish and cut down his outward engagements, especially secular ones, restrain the wanderings of his senses, his going out of doors, bootless conversations, and thoughts which correspond therewith.
(2) He must apply himself earnestly to his interior spiritual duties, nor rest content until he find a relish therein. He is not to attribute his dryness to God's proving of him, it being in nowise a trial but a punishment of his sloth and indifference. Outward occupations, undertaken according to the rules of well-ordered charity, are no hindrance to devotion and a spiritual relish; rather do these things afford each other mutual help and increase. The spirit of sloth, on the contrary, fleeing recollection, inordinately pours itself on the diversions and gratifications of sense, and by that very means aggravates its disease. The mind that revels in sensual pleasure, and is filled with the onions and leeks of Egypt, becomes dry, and cannot stomach the heavenly manna. It must further be noticed that it belongs to sadness of heart to hunt eagerly after earthly solace, and to be deeply attached thereunto when it has found it; wherefore, whoso is stricken with this disease must be weaned from these vile and abject gratifications, which so involve him in their meshes that he can hardly withdraw his foot from the snare. Besides, as one who nauseates bodily food, cannot keep what he takes on his stomach, the heat of which is diffused over the outward parts of the body, so it will be far worse with him that loathes spiritual sustenance if he allow the small degree of fervour which he possesses within him, which he should carefully husband, to escape through the wanderings of his senses.
§ 6. Instances of Vanity and Pride.—After the conquest of the afore-mentioned vices, it remains for us to attack pride and vanity, vices which, like the moth or gangrene, are inborn in man, and are the source of all evil; for they rob our best works of their merit, and blight the fair flowers of virtue. Vanity is the inordinate appetite of reputation, and of the praise of men. The glory that thus accrues to us being vain, this vice is called vainglory. Pride is the appetite of our own excellence which makes a man anxious to walk in things too great and too wonderful for him.