p. 63Consideration for the Anniversary of One’s Entrance into the Religious State

This great day reminds us of three considerations well worthy of our attention.

I. Why did I enter this holy state? God called me to it by a very special grace, that I might be saved therein. I entered with no other intention than to sanctify myself. I was then firmly resolved to cooperate with the grace of my vocation, and most conscientiously to fulfil all its duties. This holy place opened its doors to receive me, hoping I would be an honor to it and would gather for myself an abundance of merits.

Such were the designs of God; such the sentiments of my heart; such the hopes of this holy Institute. Nothing, then, seemed difficult or painful to me; everything appeared sweet and easy. Happy days! why have I not constantly preserved you with me? O that my sentiments were now as holy and as noble as formerly! “Who will grant that I might be according to the months past; according to the days in which God kept me? … As I was in the days of my youth, when God was secretly in my tabernacle? When the Almighty was with me” (Job xxix. 2–5).

II. What have I done since my entrance into this holy state? Do I correspond to God’s designs over me, and remain faithful to my vocation? Have I always fulfilled His most holy will? Have I always followed His divine inspirations? Have I always responded to what He had the right to expect of me? Have I, after receiving so many graces in religion, become more fervent and more holy? What have I as yet done for God? What vices have I extirpated? What virtues have I sown? What sacrifices have I made for His sake? What victories have I won over myself? Have I made any real progress in the ways of God, in which I should have constantly and courageously walked?

In the meantime what graces have I not received, and how little fruit have they produced in me? Alas! I have nothing to show but many good desires and very little fruit; nothing but many generous resolutions and very few of them fulfilled; nothing but numerous invitations on the part of God and so little correspondence on my part. If henceforth I do not more earnestly attend to myself, my whole life will glide away fruitlessly and, at the end p. 64of my course, I shall find myself as tepid, as careless, and as slothful as I now am, or even still more unfaithful and imperfect. Alas! when I entered this holy Institute, I was so fervent, so generous, so eager for perfection; and now—how disgraceful for me!

III. What can be more important for me than to resume my first fervor? Yes, Lord, I understand it now. It is now time and most necessary for me to enter seriously into myself, and to renew myself completely and resume my first fervor. Yes, Lord, I now renew my former resolutions of sanctifying myself at any and every cost:—

1. I renew these resolutions in a spirit of gratitude for the infinitely great graces Thou hast bestowed on me.

2. I renew them in a spirit of penance for all my past faults and unfaithfulness.

3. I renew them in a spirit of fidelity in order henceforth to be more true to Thee in the discharge of my duties and to perform them more punctually.