p. 58Meditation on the Present State of Our Soul

Preparatory Prayer, p. 19.

First Prelude. Vividly imagine yourself standing before the throne of the divine Majesty.

Second Prelude. Pray to God for light to appreciate the value of the graces and benefits hitherto received, and to acknowledge and repent of the malice of your past faults and sins, and to make appropriate resolutions.

I. Point. Consider the benefits thou hast received this month (this week), and especially perseverance in thy vocation, the numerous powerful means of perfection, thy daily spiritual exercises—such as meditation, examens of conscience, spiritual reading, visit to the Blessed Sacrament, the frequent reception of the sacraments, the constant watchfulness and direction of thy superiors, the good example of thy companions, the many divine inspirations, preservation from grievous sins, the diminution of the number of venial sins, the greater ease in overcoming temptations, a more ardent love of thy vocation, increased facility in overcoming the difficulties and obstacles of perfection. “It is true, the Lord is good, and His mercy endureth forever.—What shall I render to the Lord for all that He has rendered to me?”

II. Point. Investigate the present state of thy soul, and especially how thou hast conducted thyself and what care thou didst bestow on thy ordinary daily exercises.

1. How hast thou behaved towards God? What courage, what desire didst thou feel and nourish in thyself for the attainment of perfection? How didst thou perform thy spiritual exercises? Didst thou experience therein greater devotion and consolation than formerly, or, at least, didst thou show more zeal and endurance? Or didst thou rather experience desolation and dryness, or even relax in fervor and fidelity? In keeping thy vows and rules, was thy motive love or fear? Hast thou not failed to make that progress in perfection which, with God’s help, thou couldst have made? Reflect on some special occasions of so doing which presented themselves to thee.

2. What has been thy conduct towards thy Superiors? Didst thou always endeavor to consider Jesus Christ Himself in the person of thy superiors? Didst thou always show them due respect and love? Didst thou willingly, humbly and perfectly obey thy superiors of inferior rank? And this without murmur, without excuse, without pretexting difficulties? Wert thou open-hearted and sincere towards thy superior, or didst thou act deceitfully towards him?

3. How hast thou conducted thyself towards thy Companions in Religion? Didst thou sincerely love them all and prefer them to thyself? Didst thou not wound fraternal charity and concord? Hast thou no particular affection for some one? Dost thou entertain an aversion for some one? Didst thou strive by true humility, simplicity, patience, discretion, love and modesty to render thyself amiable before God and men? Didst thou endeavor to preserve peace of heart? Wast thou considerate in speech and in intercourse with others?

4. How hast thou fulfilled thy personal duties? Didst thou love poverty as a mother? Didst thou cheerfully bear its privations? Wast thou always content to get the poorest in all things? Didst thou desire it? Didst thou exert thyself to preserve purity of body and soul? Didst thou at once strive to suppress all impure thoughts and representations? Didst thou carefully watch over thy senses? Didst thou, without or against the will of thy superiors, exceed in acts of exterior mortification, or show thyself negligent therein?

Wast thou diligent and careful in thy daily duties? Didst thou rise in the morning at the very first sound of the bell? Didst thou then at once raise thy thoughts to God, to the subject of thy particular examen, of thy meditation? Didst thou endeavor to preserve recollection of mind? Didst thou say thy morning prayers attentively? Didst thou make a good meditation? Didst thou assist at holy Mass with reverence and devotion? Didst thou recite well thy usual prayers? Didst thou observe moderation at thy meals? Didst thou mortify thy appetite in some small thing? Didst thou pay attention to the reading at table? How didst thou spend the time of recreation? Didst thou try to keep up and promote therein spiritual conversation? Didst thou make thy spiritual reading well? Didst thou carefully make the two examens of conscience?

After thus examining thyself compare thy present with thy past state. If thou perceivest that thou hast made some progress, thank God for it, and resolve to be henceforth as conscientious and to strive to make still greater progress. If, however, the contrary has been the case, resolve earnestly to amend and to make up for thy deficiencies.

Finally, beseech our divine Saviour and His Blessed Mother to deign to preserve p. 60thee in fervor. “The most effective means to persevere in good and to make progress in the spiritual life,” says St. Francis de Sales, “consists in frequently calling to mind what we promised to God in the days of our primitive fervor after mature deliberation. If he who, from time to time, renews his good resolutions is not wholly free from faults, what will become of him who never, or only very seldom, renews them?”