Funerals
As soon as a member of your household has died, have the Priest notified at once, so that he may arrange matters for the funeral and have prayers said for the deceased.
Select a good Catholic undertaker at once, so that he may also arrange the funeral services and confer with the Priest.
By engaging a Catholic undertaker, you will save both yourself and the Priest much annoyance, as a Catholic undertaker is familiar with the regulations of the Church and burying-ground, as well as with the Catholic funeral service.
Remember funerals are an almost daily affair with most Priests, and if they cannot depend upon the existing regulations and customs for conducting them, but must be consulted repeatedly in each case, they are very much annoyed and embarrassed.
Therefore, abide by the existing regulations and do not ask for exceptions in your own case, as though it were a matter or calamity of rare occurrence.
Only those are entitled to a Catholic funeral service and burial in consecrated ground, who die in full communion with the Church. Hence, unbaptized persons; infidels; apostates; heretics; suicides; those who die from the effects of a duel, even if repentant; excommunicated Catholics, such as members of secret societies specially condemned by the Church; and public notorious sinners, dying without reconciliation, are excluded from such Catholic burial. As for non-practical Catholics, who may die suddenly without a chance to receive the sacraments, recourse is usually had to the Bishop. If the latter should see fit to refuse Christian burial to such, his judgment becomes the just punishment of the Church. It is useless to cite similar cases against such decisions.
As soon as the sick person has rendered his soul to God, all parties should kneel and say appropriate prayers, especially those given in the prayer-book for the departed soul.
All Catholics who come to view the remains, should also kneel for a few minutes at least, and say a prayer.
Prayers should be said from time to time, especially by those who watch at the corpse.
In some places parties watch with the dead all night, in others only for a time and then all retire as usual for the night.
This latter practice, if at all expedient, is at least preferable to the old-fashioned wake, so much deplored by the authorities of the Church, as well as by most respectable people; which latter observance is frequently only an apology for a so-called good time, consisting in smoking, drinking, card-playing and boisterous conduct; disrespectable to the dead, disedifying, if not scandalous in the eyes of all devout Christians.
Let gentlemen who are staying really through charity with the bereaved family, but cannot abstain from smoking, retire to another room from that of the death-chamber for that purpose.
Let the death-chamber be characterized by profound quiet, devout praying and the light of blessed candles.
Have a crucifix, holy water and other articles of Catholic devotion and custom suitably arranged in the death-chamber. It is appropriate also to place a small crucifix, pair of beads, or the like in the hands of the deceased.
Avoid useless expense for flowers, but rather have Masses said for the soul of the departed one.
Many devout Catholics send their condolence with an offering for a Mass enclosed in an envelope, instead of a perishable and expensive floral offering.
Remember flowers are prescribed for the coffins of innocent children, but are discountenanced by the Church for the coffins of adults during the funeral service. Regulations made to this effect by our Bishops, are abused by Catholics in many places.
In some places the floral offerings are removed from the coffin at the church-door and are replaced after the funeral service has been performed.
Remember the regular funeral service of the Church is the Funeral Mass followed by the absolution of the dead.
Funerals without a Mass, in the afternoon, or performed privately at home, should occur only through unavoidable circumstances, such as too many funerals at one time, impossibility to put off the funeral to the opportune time, or contagious disease. In these cases a Mass should be said either on the funeral day itself, or on the following or next available morning with as many of the chief mourners present as possible.
Let the funeral be on time. Late coming is annoying both to the Priest and to the undertaker. They both have their engagements. Late funerals rob the Priest of his time and destroy his order and discipline. They also injure the business and success of the undertaker, who is liable to be placed between two fires both to please the funeral parties and to accommodate the Priest.
If the Priest should begin the Mass on the stroke of the appointed hour, and the corpse be brought in after the Mass has begun, let none but late comers be blamed. Other services and engagements of the Priest, or an incorrigible habit on the part of the people, occasionally necessitate such a course.
If you foresee that the funeral cannot be on hand at the usual hour, make special arrangements beforehand; but when the hour has been fixed, adhere to it, the same as if the corpse had to be brought to the train. Church-services should not be delayed any more than trains.
Do not ask for special privileges or distinctions, such as for a sermon, where it is not customary; for special music or singing not in harmony with the service of the Church, or the regulations of the parish.
Do not insist on having a friend, possibly a non-Catholic, sing a non-Catholic, sentimental selection in contrast to the severe, chaste music and language of the Church.
Do not attempt to have the coffin opened in or about the church. This is against the rules. Opening it in the cemetery is also a much to-be-deplored practice. People entitled to view the remains of a private individual, should do so at the funeral residence.
Do not ask the Priest to go to the cemetery unless it is his rule to do so, or unless you are entitled to it by special parish-regulations existing in favor of certain designated individuals, such as church or society-officials, special benefactors, members of the choir, or sanctuary, or the like.
Have only a few carriages in favor of a limited number of near relatives and very intimate friends. If there is a special regulation in this matter, be sure to observe it.
Have a Mass sung, or said at least, on the seventh day after the funeral; likewise on the thirtieth day, called the Month’s Mind, and on each recurring anniversary.
Have Masses said also at other times according to your means, and give alms in favor of the dead rather than spend much money on floral designs, showy tomb-stones and meaningless monuments. Many Catholics spend vast sums of money on mere blocks of granite and marble for useless curbing, coping and paving of cemetery-lots, only to make the cemetery resemble a vast stone-yard rather than a neat garden or park.
