p. 13What the Children Should Be Taught to Avoid

1. Occasions of Sin.—Since it is of the greatest importance that your children should avoid sin and lead a virtuous life, it is your sacred duty to strive to impress deeply on their minds the necessity of avoiding the occasions of sin. Just as you carefully guard your children from frequenting persons and places infected with contagious diseases, lest they contract said diseases and thus endanger their corporal life, so also you should bestow even greater care to preserve their spiritual life by keeping them from all companions, from all persons, from all places, from all amusements, and from all reading which may prove dangerous to their faith, to their purity, to their sobriety, and to their honesty. Explain to them that it is a sin, and often a grievous sin, for them to frequent such occasions of sin, for just as it is a grievous sin rashly to expose one’s corporal life to a very great and probably fatal danger, so it is a sin even still more grievous to expose one’s salvation unnecessarily to a proximate occasion of mortal sin. Often remind your children of these words of the Holy Ghost: “He that loveth danger shall perish therein” (Ecclus. iii. 27). The neglect of parents in removing their children from the occasions of sin, and their failure to impress deeply on their young minds the fearful dangers of such occasions, are the cause of the wicked life and the eternal ruin of thousands of children.

2. Human respect leads many astray who would otherwise remain good and exemplary Christians. You should therefore engrave it deeply on the minds of your children that it behooves them to avoid sin and do their duty, no matter what others may do, no matter what others may think or say, no matter how much ridicule others may cast on them for it. Show them that there never is any disgrace in doing what is right or in being laughed at by worldlings for doing one’s duty, but that the moral cowardice which yields to human respect by neglecting one’s duty, by committing sin just to please others, just to escape ridicule, is most disgraceful. p. 14Explain to them how unreasonable, how foolish, and how dangerous it is for them to suffer themselves to be guided by the opinions of those whose views deserve no respect, on account of their worldly-mindedness and dissipated and even vicious life. Explain to them how noble he is who has the moral courage to trample human respect under foot and despise the opinions and the ridicule of such persons, and who shows himself a lover of duty and virtue. Remind them that even the wicked themselves cannot withhold their esteem and admiration from those who have the courage to practise virtue and shun every sinful act and occasion. Moral courage is, without doubt, far superior to physical courage and far more worthy of admiration. For, indeed, how noble and praiseworthy are those young men and young women who are true to the dictates of their conscience and faithful to duty in spite of the bad example, the ridicule, and the sneers of those with whom they are compelled to associate! In this connection often repeat to your children these words of our divine Saviour: “Whosoever shall confess Me before men, I will also confess him before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever shall deny Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven.” (Matt. x. 32, 33.) This means that those who have the moral courage to practise their religion in spite of the opinions and ridicule of the evil-minded will be acknowledged by our divine Saviour as His true disciples, as deserving of heavenly reward, whilst the moral cowards who neglect their duties to please men to escape being laughed at, shall be excluded from heavenly bliss.

3. Lying and Deceit.—See that your children shun all lying and deceit. Tell them that God is truth itself, whilst the devil is, as Our Lord calls him, “the father of lies.” “Truth is not in him [the devil], ... he is a liar and the father thereof.” (John viii. 44.) The quotation of these words will render it easy for you to explain to your children that those who tell lies, who try to deceive others, cannot please God, who is truth itself, but greatly displease Him, since they perform the works of the devil, the father of lies. Engrave deeply on their minds from their tenderest infancy the necessity of being always truthful, of never seeking to deceive, of carefully avoiding even the smallest lies. Explain to them that lying is disgraceful before both God and men, that it is always wrong to tell a lie, and that they should never tell the least lie under any pretext whatever, were they even capable of thereby saving their own life. If you catch them telling a lie or deceiving you or others, be sure to punish them severely for it. But all your instructions and admonitions concerning this important matter will, of course, avail nothing if you yourselves do not most conscientiously avoid all lying and deceit, and adhere to the simple truth in all things and under all circumstances. Finally, impress p. 15deeply on the minds of your children the necessity of making a sincere confession, and the peculiar heinousness of lying and deceit in the Sacrament of Penance.

4. Faults against Charity and Justice.—Teach your children to avoid faults against charity. Clearly explain to them how sinful it is to backbite one’s neighbor, to exaggerate his faults, to carry tales, to turn him or his physical and moral defects into ridicule, to indulge in excessive teasing or rough treatment, to engage in quarrels, to say or do anything to hurt the feelings of others. Insist on their avoiding all rude behavior and excessive boisterousness, and on their being polite and civil towards everybody, and especially towards their elders, and even towards their companions. See that they respect the property of others, and severely punish whatever faults they may commit in wantonly taking, breaking, defacing, injuring, or destroying what belongs to others; and, if they have done any injury to their neighbor’s property or goods, be sure to oblige them to make due reparation. Teach your children never to appropriate to themselves anything either at home or elsewhere without due permission.

5. Sins of the Tongue.—Do not fail severely to punish your children whenever they are guilty of cursing, and more especially whenever they utter obscene words or commit obscene actions. Leave nothing undone to correct them of any bad habit which they may have contracted in these points. Frequently admonish them of the great reverence due to God’s holy name and to all holy things, and of the sinfulness to wish evil to their neighbor. Tell them that Our Lord considers as done to Himself whatever we do to our neighbor, and that those who wish evil to their neighbor deserve, as a just punishment, that the same evil should befall them. Inspire them with a disgust and horror of everything impure, showing them how degrading the vice of impurity is, and how carefully everything leading to it should be shunned. You should use every available means to deter them from every word, every look, and every deed that may in the least offend Christian modesty, and should never let any fault against this virtue go unpunished. Oh! how many children have gone astray, have degraded themselves below the level of the brute, and have brought disgrace to their parents and their family, because their parents failed to watch over their morals and to punish them for transgressing the rules of Christian propriety and modesty! What answer will such criminally negligent parents give to the just Judge of mankind when He will demand of them a most strict account of the souls of their children?

6. Vanity.—It is of great importance to the spiritual and temporal welfare of your children that you should warn them against vanity. Teach your daughters especially that a handsome face and form, beautiful dress, and costly jewelry do not add merit to any one, and that many girls have been ruined both temporally and eternally for indulging in vanity, since it was for them the occasion of falling into sin and disgrace. Explain to them that a beautiful exterior and fine dress often hide a heart that is defiled by impurity, and is an object of horror and disgust to God and His angels. Remind them that that face, that body of which they are so proud, and which they take such great pains to adorn, shall one day become the food of worms and a disgusting mass of corruption. Put them in mind that God regards not the perishable beauty of the body, but the beauty of a pure and virtuous soul, and that a homely and poorly dressed girl whose heart is pure is more pleasing to God than the handsomest and most richly p. 16dressed girl whose heart is worldly and not adorned with modesty. That your words may be more effective, add practice to precept, and do not dress your daughters extravagantly. This point you should especially take to heart on two solemn occasions, viz., your daughters’ first holy communion and their wedding. Use every means in your power to prepare them for both of these great occasions, not by indulging their vanity and striving to have them outshine others by a greater display of rich finery, but by inspiring them with the Christian dispositions necessary for the worthy reception of these great sacraments. Adorn their souls rather than their bodies. It is hardly possible that your daughters should have any devotion on those memorable occasions if your whole care has been to adorn their corruptible bodies, whilst you paid little or no attention to the adornment of their souls.

7. Idleness.—It behooves you to see that your children shun idleness, which is the parent of vice, or, as St. John Chrysostom designates it, the devil’s pillow. Sloth is especially dangerous in the young of both sexes when their passions are beginning to assert themselves. Strive never to leave them alone without some employment to occupy their minds, and thus prevent the entrance of temptation therein. There is a saying that an idle person needs no devil to tempt him, for his passions will surely do so, and will do it much more dangerously than the devil could tempt him. We learn from experience that the temptations arising from our passions are both more violent and more dangerous than those which proceed from either the world or the devil. It is well if your children are fatigued when they retire to rest at night, for they will then soon fall asleep and sleep soundly, and thus escape many a temptation. Accustom your children to rise early, and not to yield to sloth when they are summoned to rise. Teach them that time is precious in both a temporal and a spiritual sense; that it is given to them by God principally as a means to save their immortal souls; that time well employed will purchase eternal bliss in heaven for them, whilst the abuse or killing of time will endanger their salvation. See that your children always p. 17punctually and carefully perform their allotted tasks, telling them that what is worth doing at all is worth doing well. In a word, accustom your children to be conscientious in the discharge of their duties, and to be always usefully employed.