p. 40The Work of a Christian Father

We have dwelt at some length on this subject in the preceding chapters. We were then working at the foundation of a structure that reaches into eternity, and the foundation of such a structure must be solid and firm. The father must be Christian; all depends on this. All will admit that the welfare of the world, especially in our day, depends, after God, on the father and mother. But it is asked, What qualifications must a father and mother possess in order to promote this welfare? The answer is that although there are many qualifications required to attain this end, the first and most important is that a father and mother be truly Christian in spirit.

Now if we have succeeded in showing how important a Christian spirit is for a father in order to succeed in the education of his children it will be readily admitted that it was very proper to treat of this subject at some length. It was not enough to tell a father how important it is, and to encourage him; it was necessary also to explain in detail what is to be avoided and what is to be done in order to acquire this true Christian spirit and persevere in it.

We will now speak of the vocation of the father, of what a Christian father must do to execute faithfully that great work—the education of his children. It is not, however, our purpose to treat the subject of the Christian education of children in all its details; it would swell our little book to a large volume, which few would be able to purchase and read. We intend simply to explain the most necessary points of this subject. This will be enough. A true Christian spirit is, according to our supposition, the most necessary thing for a father. If he understands this well he will undoubtedly, with the divine assistance, be able to discover the right way in the education of his children.¹1I cannot forbear here to advise fathers to read our little book, THE CHRISTIAN MOTHER. What has been said in it is of equal importance to the Christian father. That natural love which he has for his children must be blessed and glorified by faith and grace (“Christian Mother,” page 40) before he can succeed in the work of education. Let him also read of the dowry (page 54), in order that he may know that the nature and characteristics of the father influence the children for good or evil. He should also do his part, that that consecrated atmosphere or holy influence on which the results of a good education so necessarily depend, should pervade the household (page 63). If it is the mother’s duty to lead the children to a knowledge of the Christian truths, it is no less the duty of the father (page 69). In like manner what is said of the guard of holy innocence (page 95); of direction (page 106), and lastly of the mother in prayer, is equally applicable and valuable to the father. As in this, our little work, we treat of still other questions in reference to a good Christian education. THE CHRISTIAN FATHER and THE CHRISTIAN MOTHER form, in some respects, but one work in two parts. We would wish, therefore, that the father read the latter, and the mother the former.

p. 41I. “Lay up to Yourself Treasures”

In speaking of the education of children the above sounds as if we meant to insinuate a doctrine which, according to Christian principles, ought not to hold the first place, namely, the worldly welfare of the children, or the acquiring of riches for them.

But let us explain. The labor and exertions of the father for the temporal welfare of his children is, of course, a part of his work, even according to Christian principles. The Lord has imposed on him the task of acquiring what is necessary or desirable for the proper support of his children, for their clothing, for their instruction in useful and necessary things, and also that he may be able to assist them, at the proper time, to earn their own livelihood according to their station in life. But it is not necessary to exhort or encourage fathers to do this for their children; they feel a natural impulse to do it. And indeed we have no fault to find with a father for exerting himself to provide comfortably for his children if he does not forget what is more important—his and their eternal welfare. It is right for father and mother to strive to leave a competency to their children, providing they at the same time secure for them that rich treasure, the grace of true Christian piety and the fear of God. But this worldly wealth would be too dearly bought, no matter how valuable it might be, if in order to obtain it parents and children should suffer spiritual damage. It would not be difficult to prove by examples taken from everyday life that those children to whom much has been given are not the happiest, or as happy as those who have received from their parents a good Christian education.

We therefore do not speak here of riches which are to be left to the children, but of riches which the father is to lay up for himself by working for the temporal welfare of his children.

Let us begin with a story. We knew a man who was not blessed with children. One day while listening to a sermon the following words made a strong impression on him: “Whosoever shall receive this child in my name receiveth me” (Luke ix. 48). These words left him no rest, and this thought troubled his mind: Perhaps God had not given him children that he might take care of poor, destitute orphan children. He resolved to obey the inspiration, and his wife seconded his resolution with all her heart. It was not long before he received the first child, an orphan. Others soon followed, until he had six in all—six poor, forsaken orphans. No one who did not know would ever have thought they were not his own with such energy did he follow his daily avocations in order to provide for his numerous little family. Everything necessary was provided for them, every care taken of them.

What impression, Christian father, does this story make on you? You who well know from experience what an amount of labor, sacrifice, patience, and care one—two—three—six children cost from day to day, for years! We are not mistaken when we say that this foster-father “had laid up to himself treasures in heaven” (Matth. vi. 20).

We must admit this to be the case if we consider how much these children daily cost him and how much he had to exert himself to provide for them. If we remember that the Lord will not permit a cup of cold water given for His sake to go unrewarded, how great must be the reward of this father who for years had daily given and done so much.

Well, then, let us make the application. Do you, O father, do less for your own children than this noble-minded foster-father did for his adopted children? O no; you do the same, or, perhaps, even more. What expense you must go to daily—and for years! How you must work and exert yourself day after day and year after year! How much you must suffer and endure all this time! Can we not say of you what we have said of that foster-father: What a great treasure you have laid up to yourself in heaven, and what a reward awaits you! Or does it make any difference that you work and suffer for your own children while he worked and suffered for those whom he had adopted? Are not your children equally as pleasing to God as the adopted children? Or is it less meritorious to labor and suffer for your own children? No, it is the same.

But let us proceed. What is it that renders the action of the foster-father so meritorious? Is it not because he worked and suffered for those poor orphans? Of course it is; and yet there is still a better reason for it. It is because he did it for the love of God and out of Christian love for the children. Here we have at last come to the point. Do you, O Christian father, do all you do for your children for the love of God and out of true Christian love for your children? Then you are like that foster-father, and we can likewise say of you: What a treasure of merit, what a reward you will reap!

In this way the whole life of a father is an uninterrupted work of mercy. And what a work of mercy! What else is it than relieving the wants of our neighbor for God’s sake and out of Christian love? Now almost the whole life of a Christian father consists in working, caring, and exerting himself for his children—to give them food, to clothe and lodge them, to teach, counsel, and console them, to pardon them, and, if sick, to heal them. If a father is animated by love for God and for his children his life will be a succession of works of charity and mercy.

How highly does God value works of mercy! How great the reward promised for time and eternity!

Behold then, O Christian father, you are in a position to reap these blessings of Christian mercy during your life and for all eternity. It is only necessary that all you do out of natural love for your children be not done from necessity, but from love of God and Christian love for them.

You should consider your children as confided to you by God, who is your Master; and what you do and suffer for them you should consider as belonging to your vocation, and thus accept and bear all with a cheerful heart, from love to God and your children. Then indeed will your daily life be pleasing to God and a work of mercy to your children. Works of mercy thus interwoven in a man’s life are a perpetual prayer to God for grace and mercy for him who has performed them. Behold how rich you can become by means of your children! The more there are and the more you suffer and endure for them the richer you will be.

Will not this reflection reconcile you to the hardships of which your children are the cause, and preserve you from ill-humor and impatience? Human efforts and exertions never find so rich a reward as when they are performed in the service of him who is the great rewarder, or when they are done for the good of those who are so dear to him. In fact, the most profitable work on earth is the Christian work of a father—of parents for their children.

How much then it is to be regretted that parents—that fathers—see nothing in their daily labor for their children but the unpleasantness and burden of it, and who therefore perform such labor as if under compulsion and against their will! They thus make that work an almost unbearable cross; they lose the great reward promised them; they even commit sin! How much it is to be regretted that parents are but too often actuated only by natural motives in their efforts for their children, and therefore that they will receive no reward in eternity.

Take care, therefore, Christian father, to labor for your children in a Christian spirit. This you can do if you are truly a Christian father.

p. 44II. Government.—Discipline

It is clear from the above words that we intend to speak of education, and to explain a point which is undoubtedly of great importance to a father in bringing up his children. According to the words of the divine Father, “Man is the head of the woman” (I. Cor. xi. 3), and consequently the head of the whole family. He is therefore the master of the house, and must rule and govern, of course in a Christian spirit, because he is a Christian father, and as such must show love and affection for those who are and must be subject to him. “Husbands, love your wives as Christ also loved the Church” (Eph. v. 25). And is there a Christian father, who does not love his children? His government must therefore be regulated by love and moderation, without, however, ceasing to be a government. He must guide and direct if the work of education is to advance.

Where is there a State that has no head or supreme magistrate? We all know that without such a head no State or society can exist. There will and must be an emperor, king, president, congress, or some other supreme authority. This authority enforces existing laws and sanctions laws which are to be enacted. It watches and sees that the laws are observed, and it punishes the transgressors of the law. You will find the same order of things existing in the Church. There is a head over all, and heads over communities; there is law and supervision of its observance; there is punishment inflicted on the transgressors of the law. It cannot be otherwise; it must be so, in State and Church, if society is to exist and prosper.

Now the same is the case in the family. If the family is to prosper, if the education of the children is to advance, there must be a governing hand ruling all things; the family must have a head, and God has in fact appointed a head for it—it is the father. He (with the mother) lays down the law, the rules, the order to be observed; he watches over the discipline of the family and exercises the right of punishment.

(1) Law, Rule, and Order

The family, according to the providence of God, is the nursery for Church and State. In it the children should grow up to be useful citizens and good Christians, so that on leaving the paternal roof they may be worthy members of Church and State.

There are such nurseries established by the Church, called seminaries, where young men are taught to become worthy members of the ministry. To fit the pupils to become good priests by instilling into them the true spirit of their vocation, and thus render them capable of performing the duties of their high calling; such is the object in establishing seminaries.

Everything in a seminary is directed to this end. There are rules for the daily life and conduct of the students, compiled by the superiors after long experience and mature deliberation, the details of which are calculated to regulate the life and occupations of the students in such a manner as to attain the end and purpose of such an institution. The hour of rising in the morning and retiring at night is fixed by rule; there is a fixed time for breakfast, dinner, and supper, and for the daily recreations. Certain spiritual exercises are prescribed, such as morning and evening prayer, meditation, hearing Mass, receiving the sacraments, etc. There is also a time fixed for study. Rules are laid down to regulate the intercourse of the students with each other, etc. This is the rule, the law, and the superior of the seminary regulates all accordingly. He has an eye to the observance of the rules; he admonishes, and, if need be, punishes the transgressors. The more faithfully he does this the better he understands how to lead the students to observe conscientiously and strictly the rules and laws, and to regulate their daily life according to them; and thus the object and aim of the seminary is attained, and the students will go forth worthy and zealous priests. Without rule, law, and order, and the observance of them, this could not be the case.

We have called the family the nursery for Church and State. If, then, it is to fulfil its purpose, and bring up useful and worthy members of Church and State, it must, like a seminary, have its laws, rules, and regulations, and the father, who is the superior and head of the family, must see that these rules and laws are duly observed.

We do not require for the family the rules and laws of the seminary, which determine and regulate the minutest details of daily life; it would be impossible to observe such rules in the family. Yet there must be certain rules and laws in the family if the education of the children is to be successfully conducted. Without them nothing will succeed; without them the children will neither be good members of society nor good Christians.

There is a general rule and law for every Christian family; it is the law of the divine will. This is an indispensable law, and the father must see that it is observed. Nothing can be tolerated that is contrary to the divine will, and what God commands must be done.

According to this, all improper customs and habits are to be excluded from the Christian family—the habit of giving way to anger, of scolding and swearing; the bad habit of lying and backbiting; in a special manner all dissolute and impious conversation; every disedifying remark against the doctrines and customs of the Church,—all these must be absolutely forbidden.

On the contrary, all that is truly Christian and in accordance with God’s will ought to be cherished in the Christian household. Grace is said before and after meals; prayer is said morning and evening; servile work is not permitted on Sunday or holy days, unless through necessity; the members of the household attend Mass and assist at the other devotions of the Church; they go to confession, and receive holy communion; they observe the days of fasting and abstinence, etc.; the works of charity and mercy are not forgotten, for love and sympathy animate all; and to complete the list we must include sobriety, purity, diligence, fervor, cleanliness, etc.

Need we add that it is a great blessing for children when such laws and order exist in the family, and when they grow up under their influence and become accustomed to them. Will they not become good men and women and good Christians? But poor and unfortunate children when there is no such order in the family; when they are constantly witnessing transgressions against the divine will, and offences against Christian propriety and morals! Will it not require a miracle to make such children good under the circumstances?

We have thus far explained the principal point of our subject, for the proper method of bringing up children consists in this, that law and order should reign in the family, and that the father and mother should enforce them. We however wish to treat of this subject more at length.

As the father has been appointed by God the head of the family he has in virtue of that appointment the authority to make laws and rules for the members of the family, particularly for his children; and if his rules and laws are not contrary to the will of God they have the same binding force as the commandments of God. In virtue of this authority, then, the father should ordain and determine all that is necessary and useful to bring up his children good citizens and Christians. For that purpose he might select some rules from the ecclesiastical seminary, and he can insist on their observance. The hour of rising in the morning and retiring in the evening; the time for breakfast, dinner, and supper, and the time for work and recreation; all these should be fixed and determined, and faithfully observed as far as possible. We say as far as possible, for we know very well that through necessity exceptions must be made; but we know also that it is very possible to keep the exceptions in the minority, and thus on the whole the rule remains in force. This is of great importance for the children, for you cannot sufficiently appreciate the blessing and the advantage of accustoming children to a well regulated life. It causes a certain freshness and joy of heart in daily life which renders easy the performance of their daily duties. “God,” says St. Augustine, “is a God of order; he, therefore, who lives according to order lives according to God.” And St. Bernard says, “My brethren, I warn you in the Lord, be diligent in preserving order that order may preserve you.”

It is not to be left to the pleasure of the children when they may leave the house or when they should return. p. 47The father or mother must give them permission to go and appoint the time when they must return. An hour should be set when all the members of the family must be at home, or the doors closed and locked on them.

As it is the duty of the father and mother to assign to each member of the family that part of the daily work which each must perform, they should have regard to the ability of their little subjects, to their likes and dislikes for certain kinds of work, and, if possible, gratify their inclination; they should, moreover, once and for all, give a certain work to a certain member of the family; the work is thereby made easier, the workman acquires a certain independence, and all is done well. Let us add to this that the father and mother must determine when the sacraments are to be received; they must also establish fixed rules in regard to going out to evening parties, inviting company, etc.; and finally, it must be understood that sons and daughters cannot do what they please, particularly if it be of importance, without the knowledge and consent of the father.

We have now given a sketch of the rules and laws of a Christian family. They must apply to all the members of the household, and the duty of the father is to see that they are observed.

(2) See That They Are Observed

If we return once more to the seminary we will find that according as the superior has at heart the education of good ecclesiastics he will not only recognize the necessity and importance of certain rules to attain the desired end, but he will also enforce a faithful observance of them. And in like manner every good, intelligent father who has the welfare of his children at heart will be very careful that the rules and regulations which he has made are carefully and strictly observed by them. This is the father’s will; the child knows it, and therefore it is its duty to govern itself accordingly. The child must be obedient. Of course we presuppose that the father does not order or command anything contrary to the will of God.

Obedience. In the faithful exercise of this virtue is the greatest blessing for a child. By it that self-will which is such a hindrance to the fulfilment of God’s will and to a true Christian life is broken. If a child be accustomed to subject its will to that of its father it will be so much easier for it to obey the laws of superiors, of the civil authority, of God. If obedience to the laws of the State makes a good citizen, if obedience to the precepts of the Church makes a good Christian, then a father fulfils in a special manner the requirements of his vocation when he demands strict obedience to his will and accustoms the child to obey. It will thus grow up a good citizen and a good Christian.

This ought to be at all times dear to the father’s heart. His will must be the guide of the child, and it must understand that whatsoever the father orders or commands—of course with due reflection—must be done. Nothing will induce a good, intelligent father to change his mind simply for the whim of his child, not even when he is compelled to have recourse to stern measures to enforce obedience. This may be the reason why man’s will is more resolute, determined, and stronger than that of woman, that the father may remain firm in demanding an unconditional obedience from his children, when the mother, on account of her more tender feeling, might give way to their importunities, wishes, and prayers. The father can prevent this, and the child will be spared the consequences which such unseasonable giving way might cause.

You will frequently hear parents complain that their children, particularly the grown-up ones, will not obey. We admit that a certain perverseness may be the cause of this deplorable conduct of grown-up sons and daughters; we assert, nevertheless, that the parents, and particularly the father, in not enforcing obedience at the proper time, was the cause of this misconduct. Indeed we need not be astonished at the disobedience of sons and daughters when the parents are so indulgent to them in their childhood, permitting them to follow their own will, to be stubborn and obstinate, and to have their own way in everything. This, then, is in most cases the cause of the disgraceful conduct which so grieves and mortifies the parents and causes so much annoyance. This alone should suffice to show that children should be taught to obey and made to obey. Fathers who accustom their children to obey from their childhood work for their own benefit as well as for the welfare of their children, who will in time be a source of joy and consolation to them.

Thus great and abundant blessings follow obedience, because the road to true happiness is to be found in doing the father’s will. According to the opinion of intelligent persons no greater benefit can be granted a child than to teach it perfect obedience. When advice and admonition fail to make the child obedient the father does not hesitate, but considers it his duty to exercise his right to punish, to enforce obedience.

(3) Right to Punish

St. Paul says: “For what son is there whom the father does not correct?” (Heb. xii. 7), and he adds, “Persevere, therefore, under discipline. God dealeth with you as with his sons” meaning that when he punishes you he shows himself a father. “Whom the Lord loveth he chastiseth, and he scourgeth every son whom he receiveth” (Heb. xii. 6); that is, whom he graciously intends to lead to goodness and eternal life. There appears to be a contradiction in these words “whom the Lord loveth he chastiseth,” and yet such is not the case, for they contain a salutary truth. The Apostle explains it in the eleventh verse, where he says: “All chastisement for the present indeed seemeth not to bring with it joy, but sorrow: but afterwards it will yield to them that are exercised by it”—exercised by chastisement unto Christian perfection, “the most peaceful fruit of justice.” The sufferings with which God visits his children to preserve them from sin and to lead them to Christian perfection are nothing when compared to the sufferings caused by sin. If, then, punishment or chastisement is a means to obtain happiness it is an evidence of God’s love for us when he inflicts it.

In this our heavenly Father is the model for human fathers. The laws of God, the precepts of the Church, and the rules laid down by the father are the way in which the child must walk to become a useful citizen and a good Christian, and gain temporal and eternal happiness. That, therefore, which tends to keep the child in this road, or lead it back to it when astray, is beneficial to it, and its application is a sign of genuine love for the child.

When, therefore, a child is led by bad inclinations, bad example, or by temptations of the enemy to depart from the right way, and when it will not be induced to return by mildness, advice, and admonition, the father will adopt sterner means; he will punish and chastise his child to curb its perverse will and overcome its obstinacy.

This “for the present indeed seemeth not to bring with it joy” neither for father nor child. The little one sighs, weeps, and pleads. The father’s natural feelings revolt; his heart is moved by the pitiful appeals of the child. And yet he must overcome all this. He must wield the rod, and if he fail to do this his injudicious forbearance will foster disobedience with all its evil consequences, and cause the child miseries in comparison with which the transient sufferings from deserved punishment will appear as nothing. On the other hand, punishment inflicted in the proper manner and at the proper time will regulate the will of the child, subdue its stubborn haughtiness, and conquer its perversity. Such punishment will lead the child into the way of God’s holy will and obtain for it “the peaceful fruit of justice.”

According to this it appears to be a sacred duty of fathers to punish their children when occasion requires it. As evidence of this paternal obligation we may refer to the terrible punishment which the Lord inflicted on the high-priest Heli because he did not correct and punish his two sons, who, priests like himself, performed their duty negligently and gave great scandal to the people. “In that day,” said the Lord, “I will raise up against Heli all the things I have spoken concerning his house, for I have foretold unto him that I will judge his house forever, for iniquity, because he knew that his sons did wickedly, and did not chastise them” (I. Kings iii. 12, 13). “I will begin and I will make an end.” And soon after these words were fulfilled. In a battle against the Philistines he permitted “Israel to be overthrown... and there was an exceeding great slaughter, for there fell of Israel thirty thousand footmen. And the ark of God was taken; and the two sons of Heli, Ophni and Phinees, were slain” (I. Kings iv. 10, 11). And as a messenger gave an account of it to Heli, who was ninety-eight years old, “he fell from his stool backwards by the door, and broke his neck, and died” (verse 18). Can we still doubt that it is a strict obligation for fathers to chastise their children as the occasion may require, and when necessity demands?

We say advisedly, as the occasion may require. The reason why children are punished is to make them obedient, or to bring them back to obedience. If this end can be gained by mild means, such as teaching, advising, and admonishing, it would be an abuse of authority to inflict corporal punishment. How often do children fail more through ignorance and want of thought than through malice or perverse will? Now if you teach them, and warn them to be more careful in future, you will almost always gain your point; but if in such cases you inflict corporal punishment when not deserved it acts injuriously on the mind of the child, particularly if it be naturally timid. In every case where a child can be brought to a sense of its duty by kind though earnest words and fatherly advice this method of correction should be preferred to corporal punishment.

We have said where necessity demands it and when it is useful. It is the interest which the father has in the welfare of his child that causes him to punish it, that it may correct its faults and lead a good life. The great Father of mankind had this object in view when he gave man authority to inflict punishment. To be carried away by impatience and anger at the misconduct and failings of your children, or to be led by momentary aversion, ill-will, or bad humor to inflict punishment on them, is to abuse the authority which God has reposed in you. Such punishment is a mere gratification of your own passion, and thus while you correct your child’s fault you commit a greater one yourself. It is evident that such treatment is worse than useless. And how can it be otherwise when it proceeds from such improper motives and is inflicted so injudiciously.

But let us suppose that the punishment inflicted is in keeping with the nature of the child and its offence, yet in the supposition made above the father will scarcely be able to inflict it with the necessary calmness. The punishment will be accompanied with abuse, reproaches, anger, and too great severity or cruelty. When even a deserved punishment is thus inflicted, the child is outraged by its father and its feelings are wounded. It feels the injustice of the punishment inflicted in this way, and is shocked at seeing its own father rising as an enemy and treating it with such cruelty, and in such an unworthy and passionate manner. A deadly blow is thus given to its young heart, and the veneration which it naturally had for its father is replaced by a sentiment of contempt and scorn!

This is certainly a punishment that will not only not cure the child’s faults and failings, but will increase them.

Alas, how often are such methods adopted by fathers in punishing their children! What a responsibility! Those appointed by God to be the father and friend of their children become their worst enemies! The manner in which they inflict punishment does their children incalculable injury. St. Paul had this in view when in writing to the Ephesians he said: “And you, fathers, provoke not your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and correction of the Lord” (Eph. vi. 4). The Apostle means to say, keep your children under discipline, punish them when necessary, but as God does, who punishes with justice, mercy, and indulgence. Writing to the Colossians the same Apostle says: “Fathers, provoke not” by unreasonable punishment “your children to indignation, lest they be discouraged” (Coloss. iii. 21).

Thus far we have spoken of the manner in which punishment is inflicted, but how often do not parents commit another fault by want of care and intelligence in the selection and choice of the proper punishment to be inflicted.

The child must be punished, but there are many kinds of punishments. If we judged by the conduct of some parents we would conclude that there is but one kind—flogging. The children are flogged with rods and sticks and beaten with clubs; their ears are cuffed and wrenched, their hair pulled and the first thing that comes to hand is hurled at their heads.

Now we think, and with good reason, that some of these punishments are entirely unworthy of a Christian father (and mother), particularly when inflicted in a fit of anger. Common-sense and Christian forbearance forbid a parent to punish his child in this way.

There are, however, some punishments which are permitted; for instance, a father may use a rod or whip, and according to circumstances he may box the ears or slap the cheek, for there are some children who cannot be brought to a sense of their duty by any other means. There are cases also where punishment should be inflicted on the spot—then and there.

But to insist on punishing indiscriminately all children, and in every case by corporal punishment, is most unreasonable. As we have seen, it deprives the children of the beneficial effects of the chastisement. We have said above that there are different kinds of punishments. It is punishment for a child to deprive it of certain things that it loves—if it is not permitted to play at a certain time; if it is kept waiting a short time for its dinner or supper; if forbidden to make visits, and to play at times with its little companions; if deprived of its toys, etc. It is also a punishment to oblige the child to do something that is unpleasant or disagreeable; for instance, to remain alone for a short time; to do some work for which it feels a repugnance; to wear for a time old and shabby clothes; to do something that is humiliating, etc.

Among such a variety the parents can always find that which is best adapted to attain the end for which the punishment is inflicted—the amendment of the child. Who can deny that mild punishments do more good to a naturally timid child than harsh and severe treatment does? Punishments that are proper for small children are not adapted to grown up boys and girls. Some humiliating task should be given for faults that originate in pride and self-esteem, and sensuality should be met by privation of what is gratifying to the senses.

Can you find a sensible artisan or mechanic who, having all the various tools necessary for his work, will take the first tool that comes to hand, whether it be the right one or not? You certainly cannot. The artisan will select that tool best fitted for the work he is at; he won’t take a saw to plane a board or a hammer to saw it. Now the education (bringing up) of children is a most important work; and yet when parents who are engaged in this work have to inflict punishment they apply the first that suggests itself instead of selecting carefully the best and most useful method!

The counsel and advice which we have given to fathers are certainly not very easy to carry out. It is indeed easier not to punish at all than to punish in the proper manner. To exercise the right of inflicting punishment requires great devotion to the welfare of the child; it requires great pains, much reflection and deliberation, and not a little self-sacrifice. But it is a sacred duty and a condition of the father’s eternal welfare. And here are verified the words of the Lord: “The kingdom of heaven suffereth violence; and the violent bear it away” (Matth. xi. 12).

Besides, if the right of punishing is properly and faithfully exercised it will bear precious fruit in the children, and is therefore well worthy all the father’s sacrifices and pains. The father who does his duty in this regard will reap a great reward here on earth and still a greater reward in eternity for his cares, anxieties, and sacrifices; while those who do not keep their children under discipline, or do not do so in a proper manner, suffer grief, affliction, anxiety, and trouble in this world from the perverse conduct of their children. And what will be their lot in eternity!